Grocery shopping - worst task EVER

Grocery shopping. It's that necessary evil that we all have to do, regardless of how much it sucks goat balls. For as long as I can remember, I have HATED grocery shopping. I hate every last part of it. The idiots in the parking lot, the constant "beep, beep, beep" of the registers, the dirty floors, the dumb asses who act as if they've been abducted by aliens and planted unknowingly into a grocery store - completely unaware of how they got there or what they should do next, the prices, the smell, that empty spot on the shelf for the ONE thing you really need, oh, and the fact that my husband REFUSES to go.

This is what you get with my blog people - pure, unadulterated, honesty. So I'm not going to sugar coat things or bull shit you by telling you that my awesomely wonderful husband who makes me laugh on a daily basis and works his ass off REALLY pisses me off when it comes to grocery shopping and cooking. His brain is set on "that stuff is a woman's job" and I may need to pursue shock therapy to alter his thought process. In the mean time, I continue to do the dreaded task because if I don't, I shit you not, Jake wouldn't say a thing (I guess I can give him a plus one for never complaining when the refrigerator is bare and for never asking me to add something to the list). He'd just eat pb&j or apples with peanut butter for the rest of his life. If I want to provide the baby growing in my womb and the 4-year old that lives with us with some nutrients, it's on me to get my pregnant ass to the store, brave the idiots, and make the meals. I'm OVER it, but I'll continue to do it for the reasons previously mentioned. I also plan to invest in a taser gun and once I have it, I promise you Jake will be making more trips to the store.

One last thing about the grocery store that I have been wanting to solicit thoughts about for some time - What the HELL is up with Walmart greeters? Seriously? I mean come on. Seriously? Are they flipping necessary?? God bless us everyone, they are so creepy! As if I want some (excuse the generalization, but let's be honest) geriatric weirdo giving me weird eyes from the time the sliding doors open until I've walked past them and then suddenly hearing a booming, "Hello!" Which, let me say, is sometimes rattling and confusing - they often times wait until you've passed and then rattle off their battle cry, which makes me think someone is near me that actually knows me and wants to talk to me. Not the case. Just a geriatric doing their job. The other highly annoying part is if you walk past one of these drones to go put your cart away and then come back in for one reason or another (to go to the Redbox kiosk, or maybe get your husband from the line - insert loud, booming, laugh, as if he'd actually be in a store), only to leave through the same door. The robots will say "Hello!" to you again, even though they know you're just putting your damn cart away. And, they'll say, "Bye now!" over and over and over no matter how many times you've gone out and come back.

Walmart - save yourself some overhead and can the robots. Use that money to clean the floors and put a white noise machine in so I don't have to listen to the "beep, beep, beep".

Thanks.