Friday, August 24, 2007

Things NOT to say to a pregnant woman...

For your own safety reasons, if in the future a hugely pregnant woman comes into your life (your wife, friend, family member), please for the love of God, do not say any of the following things to her. If you choose to ignore my warning, than at least where a helmet with a face shield, nut cup, shin guards, chest pad, etc.:

1) "OH MY GOD! You're still here?"
2) "You are looking VERY pregnant, my dear."
3) "You look like you're having triplets."
4) "You look miserable."
5) [Head tilt with pitiful excuse for a sympathetic sad face] "Aww, you're so ready, aren't you?"
6) "You're huge."
7) "No baby yet?"
8) "Get used to being tired, because it only gets worse."
9) "I hope you're ready, because there's no going back now. Your life is over."
10) "Haha.. I can't look at you w/out laughing, you're sooo cute." [Oh shut up.]

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